Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 March 2018

Learning to live with Procrastination

March 22, 2018 0 Comments

As I sit up my kitchen side, staring at my laptop screen while desperately trying to make a start on an assignment, I felt like now was the best time to write a post about procrastination.

Procrastination is something I am almost certain that everyone experiences at some point in their university lives (or life in general), and for some of us, it happens on the daily. This can cause a bit of a tricky situation, where that inability to force ourselves to do an assignment only ends up causing a huge amount of stress in the long run. At the time, it's so difficult to convince yourself that you'll be suffering much more from the decisions you are making now. Even if you're aware of that fact, for some reason, your brain just doesn't want to process that fact and take action. So instead, we continue to sit and stare at a blank word document and waste a whole day doing absolutely nothing, out of guilt for doing anything but that.

It doesn't really make sense when you think about it. So fair enough, it's going to be one of those days where you just can't produce a single sentence without checking your phone or staring out of the window. However, why should that mean that we waste a whole day doing absolutely nothing because of it? I don't know about you but when I find myself procrastinating, I'll find small and useless things to do while just sitting in front of that piece of work. For some reason, I feel guilty if I step away from my laptop screen and do something a little more productive, because then I'm no longer paying any attention to the assignment that should be in front of me. So as a result, I just end up wasting a whole day sat in front of my laptop screen, doing absolutely nothing, but still manage to feel a sense of achievement at the fact that I 'tried', when in actual fact, I just wasted a day.

That's where learning how to deal with procrastination can really come in handy. Being able to notice when you're doing it and pull away from the guilt you experience by not doing your work, and distract your mind by doing something else instead.
It's about learning to pull yourself away from that blank word document and teach your mind that it's okay to step away if you're incapable of being productive. It's okay to take a couple of hours off, or even a whole day because as a result, you'll be allowing yourself time to do something more enjoyable and also productive with that time. In addition, that time away may even provide you with a little motivation to sit down and get a few paragraphs written over a few days. Or it may even give you enough motivation to get the whole thing finished way before the deadline date, and escape all that last minute stress.

Procrastination can be incredibly difficult to live with because it consumes you with guilt, which leads to frustration, which ends up adding to the procrastination you are already experiencing.
Learning to accept you're having an off day is the key to overcoming it.
Learning to appreciate writing a few sentences as a success when you're really struggling, is the best way to remove the guilt and to keep on going.
Learning to allow yourself some time away from those deadlines to refresh your mind, can really help avoid those few days of stress as you reach a final deadline and still have a tonne of the assignment left to complete.

Procrastination can be difficult to live with, but it is possible to learn to live with it too. It's all about training your mind to remove the guilt you feel and instead, feel that time with something else productive that you're going to gain a little more enjoyment from until you regain your motivation!

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Saturday, 17 March 2018

University: End of Semester Stress & Putting Your Mental Health First

March 17, 2018 0 Comments

If you are a University student, you will probably be able to relate to that huge mood changer that comes along when the end of a semester is in sight, whether that be the build up to the Christmas holidays, or the month of May when final deadlines are handed in and exams begin.

It can be very easy to get caught up in the panic and stress of how much work you have to do and then in return feeling like your head is going to explode. The idea of working through essay after essay and then having to spend the few weeks building up to exams shut away in your room revising can become very overwhelming. However, amongst all of this, it is so important to always put your mental health first.

If you don't feel right in yourself and you're not in the right frame of mind to focus, then it's only going to make matters worse. Until you begin to look after your mental health, you're never going to be able to put your best self forward, to finish off the essays and revise for those exams. Therefore, it should always be your primary focus, guilt free.

Stress is something I have always struggled with throughout my academic years and it has also linked closely with my anxiety. Therefore, around this time of the year my whole body becomes extremely sensitive to every little thing that's happening around me and can trigger the worst at any point.

The overload of work and things to be thinking/worrying about can all get a bit too much and with each year of University I have always experienced that sudden break down, where I just want to cry and give up. However, each time this has happened I have always been able to look back and feel extremely glad that I never did.

Although it is very normal to get stressed over exams/deadlines, it's not okay to let it consume your mind and take over your life. Your mental health is much more important than getting a good grade. You need to focus on getting yourself well, happy, and in the right mindset to continue.

I may not have it all figured out just yet, but I have learned that when I begin to feel overwhelmed, it is time to take a step back. I don't feel guilty for taking some time to myself, whether that be taking a walk in the fresh air or taking a few days off from work completely. Either way, I know it's so important to allow myself that time, so I can come back and feel ready to tackle those deadlines once again.

If you ever feel like you're struggling and feel overloaded with deadlines that you can't cope with, take a step back. Speak to your housemate, a close friend, or even contact your university's wellbeing service for a bit of support. You are most definitely not alone, and I can assure you that so many people will be able to relate and will be very willing to help you out.

You shouldn't ever have to feel alone through these critical moments in your degree. Make sure you are looking after yourself and getting the help and support when you need it. You're fully capable of reaching the end and finishing your degree, and you will do it.

When people say you can only do your best, that doesn't mean working yourself so hard that it leads to a breakdown and puts your mental health at risk. Instead, do your best while being aware of your limits and take a steadier approach to success. Always put your mental health first.

Tuesday, 23 January 2018

Graduation Nerves: What's Next?

January 23, 2018 0 Comments

Rewind a few years ago, I never thought that the day would come where I would be finishing my undergraduate degree, let alone starting a Masters. The past few years have been a complete whirlwind, with every plan that I've made regarding my future, falling apart when something else comes up instead.

Although I am the type of person who loves to plan and has some sort of idea what the future may hold, I've enjoyed the unexpectedness of how each year has played out for me. It has made me realise that sometimes it's better to take a step back from trying to control every aspect of your life and let fate take the lead. It has ended up allowing me to take up some of the most amazing opportunities and experiences of my life.

It can be incredibly daunting to be a 3rd year student going into the final semester. I remember feeling exactly like that last year when I wasn't sure what I wanted to do once I had finished university. I knew that I wasn't ready to leave it behind and I still had so much more to learn, but I still didn't have the faintest clue of what to do next.

It can be incredibly tempting to spend your final semester planning every aspect of your life for once you graduate, but this can be unhealthy. It can make your final few months pass so quickly without giving you chance to fully appreciate them. Although some degree of planning is needed, as you may have to send off applications or figure out what kind of career you want, you must not let it consume your final semester.

It doesn't matter if you don't have your whole life planned out. It doesn't matter if you don't know what kind of job you want or whether you want to extend your education for a little bit longer. Nobody expects you to come out of university and suddenly achieve every dream that you had originally set out to accomplish, so you shouldn't put that pressure on yourself either.

Finishing university can feel like you're finally stepping into the huge and scary adult world, where you suddenly need to grow up and get a lifetime career. Although a lot of people do jump into careers they have been working so hard for, this doesn't have to be the case for everyone.

Leaving university doesn't have to be a scary time: it can be exciting too! It's down to you to make it that way.

There is no rule book that signifies that you have to leave university and immediately start working towards your long-term career goals. Instead it can be a chance to do everything you never had the chance to do before you headed off to university. Perhaps you always wanted to take a gap year and go travelling but had never had the confidence before. Now is your time to try it! Maybe you just want to get a short-term job and experience living in another city for a year. Now is your time to try it! Or maybe you want to further your education and get a Masters in the topics that interest you most. Now is, also, the time to try it!

Whatever it is that you really want to do, you should give yourself the chance to finally experience that, completely guilt-free. Graduating from university doesn't have to be the start of that mature adult life, where you feel like you need to suddenly grow up. Instead, it can be a continuation of how you've spent your past three years at university - a time to have some fun and find out who you are as a person.

Don't let the end of university be consumed with fear and pressures to suddenly pursue the career you've been working towards. Let it be a celebration of what you have achieved and take the next few years to do the things you've always wanted to do!


Thursday, 19 January 2017

Why I'd urge my own children to go to University...

January 19, 2017 0 Comments

I know more and more people are now attending University however, I also know there are still a huge amount of people who don't go for their own reasons. I would never force my own children into doing something they don't want to do however, after experiencing University myself, I wouldn't definitely urge them to give it a go and this is why...

Firstly, it has nothing to do with the academic side of things - which I know is the main reason why most people go. I don't care if they were not bothered about getting a degree or if the job they wanted didn't need one either, I would still urge them to try it. The reason for this is more due to the life experience and opportunities they will be presented with over the 3 years. I would urge them to go just so they could experience the independence of living away from home with friends, the experience of living in a brand new city and also the chance to try something new.

From being a countryside girl, living in a tiny village where everyone knows one another, going to University and living in a city was such a huge step. However, it's been the best thing I have ever done and so far has been the best few years of my life. 

My original decision to go to uni was based on the fact that I wanted a degree in a subject I love but also because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. However, I have been gaining so much more than another qualification or knowledge of psychology, I have also gained so much life experience. The shy and timid girl I was before, who hated even ordering my own food at a restaurant, is now full of so much confidence and faith in myself that I lacked before. I've noticed it in myself but my family have noticed it in me too and it's a transformation that would not have occurred if I hadn't taken up this opportunity.

So, that is why I would definitely urge my own children to give University a go. It's not just about the education, it's not just about getting that degree, it's about moving away and experiencing something different.... being brave and stepping out of your comfort zone. I know it comes along with the debt (but let's be honest, you never really know it's there due to the way it's all paid back), so even if you're not bothered about a degree, spending 3 years away just for the life experience is more than enough reason to go.

For anyone debating over going to University or feeling nervous at the idea of applying, I felt that exact same way yet it's a few years later and I am so glad that I changed my mind and decided to go.
I've finally found a city that I adore and also made lifelong friends and experienced something I never imagined I would.

It's shaped me into a different person but in the best way possible and I finally feel much more content with where I'm at and the growth I've achieved. Obviously getting that degree and getting to wear that cap and gown is going to be so rewarding at the end of the 3 years however, that won't be the main thing I talk about when sharing my experience. Instead, I'll be focusing on the incredible memories I've made, the funny moments that had me in tears crying and even the most stressful moments where I was on the verge of a breakdown. They are all the key aspects that made my experience what it is and they are all the moments that have helped me grow and become an adult (even though I still don't feel like one), compared to the timid teenager who started a couple of years ago.

I know University isn't for everyone however, what is for everyone is everything else you gain from being apart of that community. Therefore, for that reason, I would definitely urge my own children to give it ago but also anyone else who has ever let that thought cross their mind.

I say take the opportunity and let it carry you in all sorts of directions you never imagined you would go in.

Friday, 29 April 2016

Finding Happiness

April 29, 2016 0 Comments
Finding happiness can come from all different places, even to the smallest of things that we end up taking for granted. We can be so consumed by our busy lives and all the stressful things surrounding us that we forget to take a moment and appreciate the positive things.

It's never easy to know exactly what makes you the most happy because everything comes with a downfall. However, it's so important to focus on the small things first and not just place all of your energy on reaching that end goal.

If we focus so much on reaching perfection and waste time focusing on the negatives along the way and ignoring the small pieces of happiness, we are never going to reach that full potential. It is so easy to get caught up living in the future, constantly imagining those things you want to happen instead of living in the here and now but that is such a dangerous way to live.

Life is short, we all know that, but there is so much depth behind that phrase. If you forget to live in the moment and be present, you are wasting away most of your days that you should be treasuring.



One day you will look back and regret the time you spent worrying about the small things because in the end they never really matter. What does matter though is everything else, everything that you shrug off like it's just another daily thing, when in actual fact it is providing you with a happiness you haven't paid enough attention to notice.

Appreciating every little thing that happens in life can of course be difficult but if you begin to be mindful of what is happening around you, instead of just focusing on the future, it makes it much easier.

Then as a result of that, you may start to feel happier in yourself too. Instead of wasting your time trying to reach a certain goal of happiness, whether that be a holiday or having a few days off work... try and focus on the here and now and appreciate each and everything that happens to you.

It may be as simple as a conversation with one of your friends or a whole day out somewhere, but try and treasure each and every moment and focus on how it makes you feel in that precise moment. Don't shrug a piece of happiness off just because it is small and part of your daily routine. Embrace it and allow it to make you feel the benefits instead of wishing for something more.