Tuesday 24 January 2017

Why any sort of comparison is never healthy!

January 24, 2017 0 Comments
Whilst reading some articles for my dissertation, I came across a bit of information about social comparison. It suggested that comparing yourself with your peers is just as likely to have a negative impact on your body image as comparing yourself to media content (such as models/celebrities) does. I then read something that suggested that peers have a stronger effect on body dissatisfaction than a professional model and this is because the 'thin-ideal' is seen as more attainable in someone you know/know of compared to someone in the public eye. In other words, you feel as though you are more likely to be able to look like a friend than you are a model/celebrity.

We're all constantly told that comparing ourselves to images in the media is unhealthy as they are unrealistic and not a true representation of men and women in real life. However, I also think it's so important to stress that comparing ourselves to those around us or friends/people we follow online, is just as unhealthy. Features you pick out about someone else that you claim you want or are striving for, are unrealistic, whether or not that person is a photoshopped model or someone you are friends with on Facebook. Just because you know someone in real life does not make comparing yourself with them, anymore rational than comparing yourself to someone on the TV.

We are all different due to a number of different factors but I think one thing that people tend to forget is that these differences are what cause comparing ourselves to one another, such an unhealthy way of living. You will never have the same body as one of your friends, you will never have hair like the person you follow on twitter and you will never diet and exercise enough to look the same as that girl did in an outfit on Facebook.

We can't compare ourselves to peers and friends around us as much as we can't compare ourselves to the models we see in magazines because they are all unrealistic and unattainable. Your body is the way it is due to your genetics. Yes, you can do certain things to adjust your dress size or copy a hairstyle by getting your own hair cut in that way, but it's never going to be the same as that person you compared yourself to.

You can only reach goals that your own body will allow and if that means you have slightly bigger thighs than someone else you know or if that means your stomach isn't as flat as one of your friends, that's okay because that is how your body was designed to be like. You can work so hard to become someone else and to look like someone else's picture you saw on Facebook however, that's never going to happen.

The moment you stop and realise that by comparing yourself to other people only ends in a cycle of endless misery due to how physically impossible it is to achieve, the moment you'll become so much more content with yourself.

Therefore, comparing yourself to a model in a magazine is just as unhealthy as comparing yourself to family, friends or peers you have on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram is. You are never going to look like that person, you're only ever going to be able to achieve what your body allows you to achieve. So instead of comparing yourself and constantly trying to change everything about you, focus on appreciating the body, face and hair you do have. Focus on the way your body is shaped and only pay attention to yourself when you are setting these goals and aspirations to make a change.

With January being that month where everyone is making resolutions to change themselves, take a step back and really think what goals you are setting. I recently watched a video by Lucy Wood on youtube where she emphasised the issue with New Years Resolutions. She mentioned how once she had proposed her own list, she soon realised that she had just picked out all of her insecurities and was claiming she wanted to change them. I agree with her that resolutions should be more focused around positive goals and should be more realistic in terms of making yourself happy, rather than picking out all of the negative things about yourself and insisting you need to change them.

Remember that when you are making those comparisons with celebrities, people online or your friends that you will never be them and they will never be you. Comparing yourself to other people is irrational because you are striving for something that is unattainable. Instead, be happy with the body and traits you have been given and be grateful instead of picking, comparing and trying to change everything.


(photo credit link is here)

Thursday 19 January 2017

Why I'd urge my own children to go to University...

January 19, 2017 0 Comments

I know more and more people are now attending University however, I also know there are still a huge amount of people who don't go for their own reasons. I would never force my own children into doing something they don't want to do however, after experiencing University myself, I wouldn't definitely urge them to give it a go and this is why...

Firstly, it has nothing to do with the academic side of things - which I know is the main reason why most people go. I don't care if they were not bothered about getting a degree or if the job they wanted didn't need one either, I would still urge them to try it. The reason for this is more due to the life experience and opportunities they will be presented with over the 3 years. I would urge them to go just so they could experience the independence of living away from home with friends, the experience of living in a brand new city and also the chance to try something new.

From being a countryside girl, living in a tiny village where everyone knows one another, going to University and living in a city was such a huge step. However, it's been the best thing I have ever done and so far has been the best few years of my life. 

My original decision to go to uni was based on the fact that I wanted a degree in a subject I love but also because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. However, I have been gaining so much more than another qualification or knowledge of psychology, I have also gained so much life experience. The shy and timid girl I was before, who hated even ordering my own food at a restaurant, is now full of so much confidence and faith in myself that I lacked before. I've noticed it in myself but my family have noticed it in me too and it's a transformation that would not have occurred if I hadn't taken up this opportunity.

So, that is why I would definitely urge my own children to give University a go. It's not just about the education, it's not just about getting that degree, it's about moving away and experiencing something different.... being brave and stepping out of your comfort zone. I know it comes along with the debt (but let's be honest, you never really know it's there due to the way it's all paid back), so even if you're not bothered about a degree, spending 3 years away just for the life experience is more than enough reason to go.

For anyone debating over going to University or feeling nervous at the idea of applying, I felt that exact same way yet it's a few years later and I am so glad that I changed my mind and decided to go.
I've finally found a city that I adore and also made lifelong friends and experienced something I never imagined I would.

It's shaped me into a different person but in the best way possible and I finally feel much more content with where I'm at and the growth I've achieved. Obviously getting that degree and getting to wear that cap and gown is going to be so rewarding at the end of the 3 years however, that won't be the main thing I talk about when sharing my experience. Instead, I'll be focusing on the incredible memories I've made, the funny moments that had me in tears crying and even the most stressful moments where I was on the verge of a breakdown. They are all the key aspects that made my experience what it is and they are all the moments that have helped me grow and become an adult (even though I still don't feel like one), compared to the timid teenager who started a couple of years ago.

I know University isn't for everyone however, what is for everyone is everything else you gain from being apart of that community. Therefore, for that reason, I would definitely urge my own children to give it ago but also anyone else who has ever let that thought cross their mind.

I say take the opportunity and let it carry you in all sorts of directions you never imagined you would go in.